Good days and Bad days

There are bad days and good days. There are days when we are so tired after doing household chores and handling office work at the same time and also handling a two year old kid. No doubt kids teach you a lot every day and so does my nephew BabyKiyaan but on some days he is so rigid and throws tantrums that pisses me off and makes me tired. He is the one who never complains if we ask him to stay somewhere because of some situation. When I cry he wipes my tears and shouts at me to not cry. He hugs me and comforts me saying he is there. Yes a two year old kid understands a lot than we adults can even think of. So days will be there when he will piss you off and won’t let you do any work, but some days he would be so happy and in mood and these pictures reflect how much happy he is in his own company. I love him no doubt and I hope he always remember as his best aunt. He has taught me a lot in these two years and five months and time will come when I have to part ways and we both will be living in different countries where meeting him everyday won’t be possible. No matter what, for me you will always remain my Chotu. Love you and God Bless you with an amazing future.


Is it a dream or reality?

I still feel that I am dreaming and the dream has still not ended. It feels like you will come in front of me someday and say “ Get up bacha, I am back. I am done playing hide and seek and you guys lose as you couldn’t find me.” I would be ready to lose as having you back would be the best win for me Maa. It’s difficult without you. Come to me as I need you. We had so much planned, so many things needs to be done. It’s difficult to even do daily chores Mom. I am reminded of you wherever I go. Going to market, or going to mall or salon or doctor visits, none of it has been without you. It’s like I am used to being around you. You were always afraid of me not being around you once I leave India for my new journey in another country and I was always worried that how would I survive without you and Baby Kiyaan. Now I feel like atleast you would have been in reach of me via phone, if you were alive. Now, you are so far that I couldn’t connect with you and speak to you. It’s difficult Mom, I swear it’s difficult. Nobody can replace the biggest loss that I am going through. I don’t even know when or how will I recover from this shock that you wouldn’t be there in person anymore or Except in memories or pictures I won’t be able to see you anymore. Just the thought gives goosebumps and tears automatically flow. People around tell me what’s written in destiny will happen. If that’s true I hope you are written in my destiny and I will wait for this destiny to make us meet again. Wherever you are, listen to me, you are missed very badly and I am trying my best to cope up with your loss. Be with me because you were, are and will be my strongest support in my entire life. Love you Mom.

You were the one who did every possible thing for her children. Today wherever I am it’s because of you and your sacrifices. You were my hero and will remain in my stories that I will pass it on to your grandchildren. I have refrained myself to do so many things in life because you wanted me to, so that nobody is upset with me around. And yes I use to be angry with you for not letting me do things I always saw my friends doing it. I use to be upset and sad that everyone except me are enjoying and living their life to the fullest. But later, I use to think that you deserve this much for the sacrifices you had done. There were many things for which people around me used to be upset about, but I never regretted because I know how much you had to go through later. You were the best and you are the greatest loss of my life.


Life lesson 3

We share things with a few people,

Who we think would understand us and won’t judge us.

It’s difficult to find such people,

As they are rare.

So share your secrets only with those,

Who really cares for you and knows you better.

Or else one day those shared secrets would backfire you and you would regret instantly.

Nobody can understand you better than you,

Sharing your feelings with the wrong ones,

Would end up hurting you in the end.

So one must realise and act soon rather than regretting later.


I miss you Maa

Even after being busy the whole day and being tired by the end of the day, I don’t feel like to sleep. It’s 1:18am and I am wide awake Maa. It’s been a week since you left me, but nothing seems to work. Tried a few ways to divert my mind, but no luck. Do you get it Maa! I am so use to seeing you, talking to you, being around you that I can’t stop thinking about you. Maa, from tomorrow my new journey is going to begin and remember you were part of it, but now I have to start without you. I know you are there for me and will always look upon me, but I miss your touch. I miss you holding my hands, when you feel alone, I will miss walking next you, showing you the world, you had been waiting for so long! I am sorry, I couldn’t fulfill your dream a little bit early. I have people around me to make me feel good, but as of now the only thing that will make me happy is seeing you. I miss you Maa. I wish, I could do something to get you back, but thats not possible. Maa, wherever you are, I pray you stay healthy and happy. We all miss your presence a lot and I request you to be there for me whenever I become weak, which nowadays I get a lot. Wherever I go, be it a Mall or the salon or anywhere, I miss you because you were my partner everywhere. I don’t know when will I recover from the fact that you won’t be there physically with me anymore. You won’t be calling me everyday to ask how I am or you won’t be able to feed me the yummy food cooked by you. It’s very difficult to live without you being around and comforting me that I am there for you.

I love you Maa and more than that I miss you.


Come back Maa

I have no words to write this post. There might be many mistakes while writing this post and I don’t bother about it as of now. This post is dedicated to my mom, my support system, my friend, my life who left me forever. My pillar of strength, my friend who was there for me always, my mom passed away on this Tuesday 10-04-2018.

I love you mom and you left me when I needed you the most. You promised me to be there always. How could you leave me then? We talked right? I asked you when you were lying on the bed with so many different tubes attached to your body “Do you want anything? Is anyone hurting you here? Are you feeling hungry? Should I feed you? Do you want some water? And you confirmed me saying a Yes, I am fine. I need nothing. I asked you to take rest and you said Yes, trying to smile. I know you wanted to talk a lot at that time, but it was important for you to rest. I know you were feeling alone inside, but I wanted you to be healthy soon so that we could both explore the new life of mine together.

As soon as I left the ICU, in a few seconds, the doctor called me inside saying something that scared the shit out of me. He asked me to wait outside for the next fifteen minutes. He called us back again, but this time with a news that was going to change my life forever. He told me she is no more, you can see her for the last time if you want to. You know Maa, all I was hoping that this is a bad dream and it will end soon. But, no it did not. I want you here mom. Please. I want you back. There were so many things we had decided to do, and now what am I going to do without you? Yes, I am weak now. Because you were my strong support. Today, I was going through your stuff, your old pictures in my phone, our trips together, our memories Maa, I was crying everytime and in my mind, I was begging you to come back in my life. It’s difficult to do things alone without you. I need you so much, I can’t even express. I miss you a lot. Love you.

Maa, you will be remembered always and I hope wherever you are, you rest in peace. I miss you a lot. You were one of the strong pillars of my life because of whom, I was surviving happily. I don’t know, how will I manage without you. Love you. You are the biggest loss of my life and I can never come out of it.


Simply Happy 🙂

It’s always a pleasure when you fulfil the dreams of your loved ones.

The spark that you get to see in their eyes,

Makes you feel content and your hard work pays off finally.

Today, I have the same feeling inside.

The smile on his face makes me happy and proud at the same time.

The best joy of life is spreading happiness 😀 .


Life lessons 2

Loving someone is easy,

But maintaining that love is hard.

Making promises are easy,

But keeping one is difficult.

So love someone only if you know that you would love them for lifetime and would stand by them in good times or bad times.

Make promises only if you are able to fulfil,

Don’t give false hope to people who truly believe you,

Because of attachments and relations, they will trust in you and give you a chance,

But if you hurt them, they will be shattered badly,

And might be it will take ages for them to trust someone back again.

One should always remember people who never stood by them,

Remember those people who never fought for them,

Never forget people who were not there when you needed them the most.

Such people make you realise to not trust somebody easily,

To not enter into any relationship blindly and get attached so much that you are affected by them very badly later!

They teach you lessons in many ways and one should not forget those experiences for a lifetime.

– Heta Gala Naidu